JC’s Top Rope Report: The RAW Truth Review for 4/9/12

Justin Czerwonka April 10, 2012 Comments Off

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What Will Brock Lesnar have to say? How many times will people chant yes? Will Lord Tensai finally challenge Yoshi Tatsu to the dream match we’ve all been waiting to see?

STOP SMILING
John Laurinaitis and David Otunga came out. Ace was here to introduce the new face of the WWE. A man here to lead the WWE for years to come. They replayed Lesnar’s attack on Cena. Lesnar came out and thanked John Laurinaitis for bringing legitimacy back to the WWE. John Cena came out. Cena said he never thanked Brock for last week. Cena slapped Lesnar across the face and Lesnar attacked Cena. The two brawled and the locker room emptied to separate them. Each man escaped and got some punches in. Cena’s lip was busted.

Segment Analysis: Where was that during the Rock/Cena build up. That was a strong opening and got Cena some heat back after looking like a bitch last week. Locker room clearing brawls aren’t done a lot in the WWE, and that is why they are unique when they do. Nice opening. Survey Says: 4/5

Backstage, Laurinaitis yelled at Teddy Long for not doing his job containing John Cena. Eve came in and wanted to talk to Laurinaitis. Ace said he was busy. Eve said to call him.

Funk Is On A Roll…
Tag match time. Santino/Brodus Clay vs Ziggler/Swagger. Ziggler took down Santino and hit a kick, but Santino countered into a hip toss/arm bar. Both men made tags. Clay clotheslined Swagger. Swagger ducked another clothesline and took out Brodus knee and hit a shoulder tackle. Back from break, Dolph hit a knee drop on Santino for two. Tag to Swagger. Santino fought out of an armbar but Swagger slammed him down. Ziggler tagged in, who hit a clothesline for two. Santino fought out of a headlock and made the hot tag to Brodus. He hit a suplex and then his big splash for the win.

Segment Analysis: Match wasn’t a lot of anything. Way too many rest holds. The hot tag to Brodus lead to a quick squash. It should have went a bit longer. At least Brodus is in a program. Survey Says: 2/5

Cena talked to Laurinaitis. Cena said he got Brock Lesnar just to put Cena out of business. He told Laurinaitis to pick his opponent for tonight. Ace suggested Otunga.

Santino looked for the Three Stooges. He ran into Kane, who apparently just likes to stare at walls.

Cody Rhodes against R-Truth. Rhodes hit a quick Alabama Slam before Big Show interrupted. Show replayed his loss to Kofi last week. After the replay, R-Truth hit the Lie Detector on Cody for the win. A video within a video showing a video? WHAT DA HELL???

The 3 Stooges arrived, and were terrible. Ugh.

Lord Tensai took on Yoshi Tatsu. He head butted him a bunch, reverse power bomb, back splash, corner splash, sit down power bomb. Referee stops the match. Still not feeling Tensai. Need more time.

Why Waste the Alcohol???
C.M. Punk came out. Punk said he wanted to break his silence for the last week. He talked about Straight Edge being a personal choice. He didn’t make a choice to be cool. He did it because its a way of life. He said it isn’t anybody else’s business. It helped him get to the top of the WWE. Then comes Chris Jericho, who tries to destroy his life by tearing apart his family. None of it worked because he still made Jericho tap out at Wrestlemania. Punk then said Jericho took it one step further last week with his actions. They made him think one thing: He smelled exactly like his father did.

Chris Jericho interrupted. He asked Punk if he was still hungover. Jericho asked if he was tipsy and if he was in the middle of his first bender. Jericho said recovery is necessary. Everyone sees a pathetic, living, breathing loser. Jericho said for the first time he turned him into C.M. Drunk. Punk said that Jericho made the biggest mistake of his life, and that he is coming after Chris Jericho. It’s not about being the Best in the World, it is about him kicking his ass.

Back from break the match began. Punk took it to Henry with kicks and punches early. Henry clotheslined Punk out of the ring. Punk took a TV monitor and hit Henry with it and was DQ’d. Jericho came out to distract Punk. Henry pulled him off the apron, then hit the World’s Strongest Slam in the ring, and then another. Jericho came in but Punk attacked, but Jericho hit the Codebreaker. Jericho then poured some beer all over Punk. Referees came out to stop it.

Segment Analysis: Punk’s opening promo was a bit preachy. It wasn’t until Jericho appeared that it actually got good. The match was obviously disappointing after last week’s good showing. The after stuff continues the feud heading into Extreme Rules. The segment probably went a couple minutes too long. Good, but not the best from these two. Survey Says: 3/5

Zack Ryder came out for a match with Alberto del Rio. Del Rio took it to Ryder early. Ryder caught Del Rio with a high knee then the Broski Boot. ADR countered the Rough Ryder by tossing Ryder into the corner, then applied the cross armbreaker for the win. Ryder continues to job, while ADR is the same old ADR. Nothing new from Del Rio that impresses me. Same old same old.

The 3 Stooges came out. The fat one came out as Hulk Hogan. Kane came out and chokeslammed him.

Mark Henry said John Laurinaitis made a No DQ Match with C.M. Punk next week for the WWE Title, but Mark Henry said he would become the new World Heavyweight Champion instead.

Brock Lesnar was interviewed. He said he took the WWE to new heights, took UFC to new heights, and John Cena couldn’t carry his jock. He’s a war machine, and he’s not here to make friends.

They showed a video package of the HHH/Taker Hell In A Cell match.

Didn’t I See This Last Week?
David Otunga is main eventing against John Cena. Why is this not on PPV??? Cena took down Otunga a couple of times. He charged Otunga in the corner but Otunga moved. Otunga took Cena down with some punches. He hit a clothesline. Another clothesline then a shoulder tackle for two. Otunga flexed which allowed Cena to recover and go into CENAMODE!!! Attitude Adjustment, STF for the win.

Brock Lesnar came out from the crowd and low blowed Cena with a kick. Lesnar hit the F5 as the show ended.

Segment Analysis: Weak end to a weak show. The main event was nothing special. The ending was the same as last week. I did not enjoy this show at all. Survey Says: 2/5

OVERALL
This show started off strong then went down here very quickly. The opening was hot, but nothing else seemed to matter. There was barely any wrestling on the show. The Y2J/Punk stuff was ok but nothing else. The whole show seemed like filler, as you can tell with my barely noticeable reviews of everything. Lesnar wasn’t as good as last week, but I can go with the “New Face of the WWE” persona, especially if they are going to make him a guy who just runs through the roster en route to the WWE Title. But this show was not good. The opening was hot, but that’s it. I’m giving the show a 2.

And remember kids, no one takes you seriously if you smile after everything you do.

Until Next Time,
Justin C
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

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